The Day I Was Raped 11/29/2025

 When he was doing it he whispered in my ear "watching you bleed so much really turns me on".

I have been watching this Cornell rape case very closely, because this exact scenario is one I found myself in (well, minus the group sex) on November 29, 2025...the day I was raped.


Like Jane Doe, I withdrew my consent when things took a turn. What started out as one thing quickly & violently... ...turned into an intense physical struggle where I did not win. He held me down & did what he did, in a very violent and damaging manner.
When he was doing it he whispered in my ear "watching you bleed so much really turns me on". When it was finally over and I saw the sheer volume of blood everywhere—on the mattress, on the wall—my vision began to narrow, bringing me to the brink of passing out. I couldn't tell if the bloody handprint on the wall was mine or his. I just remember praying for the Uber to arrive faster. I didn't have the luxury to break down right then; survival meant getting out.

I remember feeling so cold on the way home, inside and out. I remember the incredible physical pain inside of me. It felt like i was ripped up inside. I could feel my organs moving in a concerning manner.

I debated going to the ER, but thinking through the immediate reality of police involvement and public scrutiny, I made a choice: I didn't want to deal with law enforcement. I just wanted to get home, clean myself up as best I could, and try to forget it ever happened.
I had never been sexually assaulted before. Like most men, I assumed nothing like that could or would......happen to me. I looked at myself as savvy and scrappy and street-wise...no way I would be caught unaware and not be able to fight them off. And I assumed when I said "no stop, I don't want to continue with this"...would carry weight. I tried so hared to fight him off of me.

But he had me in a chokehold from behind, I panicked, and the more I struggled the more violent he became. In that panicked state I couldn't comprehend how to gain the upper hand. And seeing how much blood there already was, I wasn't even sure if I had been stabbed or what.

For a long time I thought I deserved it, for hooking up with someone, a virtual stranger. I felt dirty. I felt ashamed. I did not know then that consent could be revoked at any time. I remember loosing it that night in the shower, seeing how red the water was that went down the drain.

For days, the assault and his whispered words played on an unending loop. I kept rewinding the memory, searching for the precise moment everything shifted, though I realized only he truly knew when he made that choice.

I reached out to a couple of friends 3 or 4 days later. But I do not think either of them knew what to say to me, or help.

I was so upset all those days that I would throw up every time I heard his whisper in my ear, in my memory.

While my physical injuries took weeks to mend, the emotional and mental impact ran much deeper. Eventually, I found myself retreating into severe dissociation, unable to find my way back on my own. 

Six weeks ago, recognizing that I had reached my limit, I checked myself into an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) to get professional support and begin processing my trauma.
I am Jane Doe, a student at Cornell who was raped.

Support & Resources: If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, confidential help is available 24/7:

  • RAINN (National Sexual Assault Hotline): Call 1-800-656-4673 or chat online at rainn.org.

  • Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor.

  • 1321 (Male Survivor / 1in6): Specialized support for male survivors of sexual abuse and assault at 1in6.org.


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