A Pointless, Rambling Blog Post
I have been thinking alot about my mom lately. In 24 days it will have been two years since she died. I have been crying a little today. I still try to stop myself when that happens. I try to bury my feelings, because if I let myself feel things then I will be buried. Almost two years later and it feels I am still in the denial stage of grief. I flip back and forth between denial and anger. I think about how chaotic those last two weeks of her life were and how unnecessary it all was and I get so angry. I think about her life in that last year of her life and I get angry, at myself and everyone else. I don’t think I will ever get past this nor do I think it is something to really something to get past anyway. At least if I am angry I am feeling an emotion. That is what I have been telling myself anyway. I still do not know how to process all of these feelings. I know exactly how Dorothy must have felt in the middle of that tornado. That is how my emotions are. I am tha...