Ramblings of An Aging Gay Guy

I am listening to “Bleeding Love” by Leona Lewis. It is where I am right now. I have decided with a certainty where I am in life and where I want to go, which is an accomplishment for me. Often, things seem dim and murky at best, as if life is a riddle to which I do not have all the clues. Can you imagine walking through a forest pathway in the fog, hard to decipher direction and sound and all that? That is how life is like for me most of the time. There are so many pathways, so many roads down which one can go. Which ones dead end? Which ones have traffic or roadblocks or potholes? That is one of the things we have to chose, and often there is only gut feelings to go on. And I have a bad track record of ignoring those and seeing only the rosy picture. One thing that I have learned over the years though is that you can not let fear rule you or make decisions for you. You have to go where love is, follow the love. Follow the good things and do not let the bad things hol...

Wow. It has been a long time since I have posted a blog. I have been so wrapped up in my own life that I have not had a moment to slow down and breath. I have been adjusting to my new job at a new company, which is always anxiety-provoking. Having to learn the meat and potatoes of an employment position is the easy part. The hard part comes in juggling the myriad of conflicting personalities and egos. And that is always exhausting for me. My relationship with my partner has been crumbling, and that has taken it's toll on me as well. It is what it is. But it hurts and frustrates all the same. I won't talk much about that here though. What I have realized these past few months though is that I have been using social media as an escape from life. I began to spend more and more time online after mom died and really ramped up after I got laid off 3 months later. I used social media as a place to find support. I used social media as a crutch, as a means to deal with...