Pride and Pulse

Tomorrow will mark one year since the shooting at the Pulse gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida.  It will be one year ago that all of us in the LGBTQ community saw the direct result of an intersection between unchecked access to guns, mental illness, religion, and homophobia.  It was a year ago that all of us within the community felt a little piece of ourselves die.

The shooting did not occur in a vacuum.  We live in a country that is supposedly great and awesome and better than all other countries.  At least that is what we are indoctrinated to believe as we grow up.  As a child I remember we used to say the Pledge of Allegiance every morning at the start of school. But that pledge is a lie told to everyone ever forced to say it...

One Nation Under God

We are NOT one nation.  We are a divided nation, both politically, socially, economically, and religiously.  There are elements within this country...the Religious Right, the Republicans...who have worked tirelessly to insure that everyone is divided.  You are a Democrat or a Republican.  You are a member of the economically privileged or else you are struggling to get by.  You are white or non-white.  You are either Christian or you are considered a heathen.   There is NO one nation.  And even if there was, then to be accepted it has to be under their god, not your.

Liberty and Justice for All

Laws have been passed (and continue to be passed) which restrict our ability to thrive in this so-called great nation.  Laws have been passed or proposed which strip away the hard-fought protections and equality that our people have lost their lives to protect.  Bathroom bills, religious freedom laws, and the continued attack against our right to marry continue in so many states.  The “justice” system is rigged against those who are not white.  Even now, Trump if rabidly pursuing a travel ban on Muslims...even though the vast majority of our terror incidents are perpetrated by white males...who have free and practically unfettered access to guns.

The rise of Trumpism has made that which was previously unthinkable into something that is expected.  Hate and vulgarity are now considered culturally beneficial to those who support him.  Posting Bible quotes on your Facebook somehow is viewed as making someone a good, Christian person...and yet those same people attack you online, in the pulpit, and even at your desk at work.  

Homophobia, much like racism, is not often overt.  Nowadays it is often more subtle and manipulative and dirty.  Yes, we did see a rise in overt hatred upon the election of Trump, in the form of swastikas on garage doors, customers openly verbally attacking non-whites in grocery stores, and in the fierce pride openly showed by the proliferation of the alt-right movement.  And of course, the Pulse massacre was about as overt a display of hate one could ever see.

No, today homophobia, hatred for non-whites and for non-Christians is much more subtle and harder to point at.  In psychology we call the phenomenon that occurs microaggressions.  Microaggressions are the everyday encounters of subtle discrimination that people of various marginalized groups experience throughout their lives  The constant, daily experience of microaggressions make life unbearable at times, at least for me.  Here is a list of what LGBTQ people face on a daily, sometimes hourly basis:

• Giggles made in a movie theatre when a same-sex scene occurs.
• People staring, making nasty comments, or becoming hostile when you hold your partner’s hand in public.
• Reading the comment section on any LGBTQ-themed news section on any social media or on YouTube.  (They are quite vile).
• Being told you don’t “act gay” or, conversely, someone saying they knew all along because you are not the masculine ideal our society expects out of men.
• Being asked why a “pretty girl like you” is a lesbian, as if pretty is a fixed concept or that being pretty guards against lesbianism.
• Being told on a routine basis, even in a jocking manner, that you just haven’t met the right man or woman yet.  As if good pussy or some good dick is the cure for gayness.
• Being told by people “You people already have gay marriage, what else do you want?”, as if that tiny band-aid fixes systemic inequality all by itself.
• Having your life being used as political propaganda by the very people who are working against you, such as when Ivanka Trump tweeted out her “support” during Pride month.
• Straight guys ignoring you completely and treating you as invisible, and then quickly diving into bro-talk when another straight guy is present.  
• Being told “...I’m not being homophobic, you’re just being too sensitive”.

This of course is not a complete list but it does show a tiny piece of what being LGBTQ can be like.  When one is bombarded by these constant micro-attacks it takes a huge toll on a person’s life.  Microaggressions can make a person depressed, anxious, and have a negative impact on physical health.  For me, I am always on guard waiting for the next event to occur, the next slur to be made, the next time a person accuses me of being snippy.  And there is ALWAYS a next time.  

It feels much like walking through a minefield, never knowing when the next mine will explode.  It is a small wonder that there have been no gay mass shooters, but then again, we have lived with these sorts of microaggressions our entire life.  It is almost a paradox how these subtle digs are both so profound to us and yet somehow still fall into background noise at the same time.

These are reasons why we must never back down until full equality is achieved across the board.  There can never be a compromise on equality.  There is no sexual pathology or abnormality at work within LGBTQ people, no more than there is in the hetero world.  There is no more sin inside a gay person for being gay then there is inside straight people.  And besides, sin is just something humans made up so they feel better about being hateful towards someone else.  

So it is with all of this on my mind that I honor and remember the 49 people who died during Pride month one year ago in Orlando.  It is for the 12 transgender people killed so far this year (that is about 2 per month) that I will continue to be loud and speak out and fight.  It is for the LGBTQ black men who face a 1 in 2 chance of contracting HIV or the Latino LGBTQ men who face a 1 in 4 chance of contracting HIV that I will be open and active in the fight against homophobia and stigma.