I am (a little) CraZy!

So I have made the decision a few weeks ago to go off my antidepresants.  I have been a zombie for awhile now and I hate not feeling things.  Joy? No.  Sad? Somtimes.  In that way, the medication seemed to stop working or it has dulled me so much that it is working exactly as it should.  I am not sure which it is.

With Lexapro, and most antidepressants, it is imperative that you wean off of them slowly, so as to eliminate or reduce the withdrawals.  I have been gradually tapering off the last few weeks.  Apparently I didn't spend enough time tapering so when I finally stopped taking them a few days ago withdrawals began, though not as bad as they have been before when I went without them for a few days. 

Mostly I feel like my thoughts are shooting out like sparkers....you know, the ones you light up on the 4th of July, that shoot sparks everywhere?  Yeah, that is my head right now.  Trying to grasp a thought is like trying to capture fog with your hand.  My brain feels a bit loose and jiggly inside, kind of like when you drop some electronic gizmo and something is rattling inside, having came loose.

But I don't feel crazy, just a bit erratic.  I am sure I will be feeling a bit more normal in a few days.  I feel erraticly manic maybe?  Yet I have no drive so it is like spinning in circles I guess.  I am sure I am probably weirder than normal, but that's ok.  My goal in life is not to try and make other people comfortable.  If I am too much for someone, good and goodbye, haha.

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