Happy Monday!

Good morning!  It is Monday, the start of another week.  Hopefully this week will be free of snow and cold!  My goal this week is to work all 5 days of the week.  I am sure my paycheck will be sad but that's ok.  

I spent the weekend fighting an abcess on my gum/jaw.  It has caused me considerable pain all last week and it finally seems to be getting better.  At some point I will have to eventually force myself to go to the dentist to have it looked at, as it occurs often enough to be worrysome.  I hate going to the dentist, for the usual reasons, but also because I am always fearful of disclosing my HIV.  The first time I tried to go to the dentist after I was diagnosed was not a good experience.

I had called to make the appointment, making sure they were accepting new patients, which they said they were.  I go to the appointment and fill out my new patient paperwork, marking the box that asks if I have HIV.  I turn my paperwork in and a few minutes later the receptionist calls my name for me to come up to the window where they check people in.  She tells me there has been a mistake and they are in fact NOT taking new patients, sorry for the inconvienince.  I felt embarassed and full of shame, so I left and did not go to the dentist for another 2 years.  It was not until I got a referral from an HIV case worker for an HIV-friendly doctor that I felt comfortable enough to go again.

I guess I could have simply not disclosed my HIV status, but I wouldn't have felt right about that.  Even a routine teeth cleaning often causes my gums to bleed, so I just did not want to put anyone at risk, however minimal.  And yet I did not want to go through the humiliation of being shunned again either.  

There are ways around this that make engaging in your healthcare a comfortable reality.  Now, I always check with my HIV case worker any time I need a referral to a dentist or doctor, and that has worked out well for me.  Case workers are an invaluable tool in seeking care of any kind, as they are "in the know" of who to see and who is friendly towards people with HIV.  The statistics of how few people remain in comprehensive HIV care are unsettling, and I can see why that may be, even now in 2015.  However, fear or shame should not ever cause a person to remain sick and in need of care.  


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