Asshole or Crazy?

In many times in life, it is inevitable that one will have friction with someone.  Often, circumstances force one in contact with an unsavory character far longer than is healthy.  It can be difficult to determine if these unsavory folk are crazy (clinically so) or if they are just an asshole (a decidedly non clinical diagnosis).   

It has been said that the definition of lunacy is engaging in the same behaviors and expecting different results.  But, what if the crazy is not you, but in the other person?  Psychosis is defined as a sense that reality becomes distorted, making it very difficult for the afflicted to tell what is real or what is not real.  I am not talking about self-doubt, or the normal run-of-the-mill doubts a person has over what choices to make, what direction to go in, or how to proceed.  I am talking about the dead certainty that believing something is real that is definitely not real.  

For example, encountering a person who, in essence, rabidly and with spittle flying argues that the sky is green and the grass is blue.  A rabid doggedness in believing that which is not real is a sign of psychosis.  Another symptom is an extreme preoccupation with religion or the occult...perhaps even moving back and forth between the two.  Other symptoms would be dropping out of activities that were once familiar, extreme reactions to criticism, and indifference to others.  All of these are clinical manifestations of psychotic behavior.  

But...how can you tell psychosis from being an asshole?  It is hard to say.  Here are some common signs that one is indeed an asshole:

1) You wildly overstate your case.  For example, you take a nuclear approach to social interaction when diplomatic resolution would be more appropriate.

2) You preemptively tell others to fuck off. (Though I think we are all guilty of this one at one time or another.)

3) You think you have all the answers, and are not afraid to overrule anyone at anytime on any subject.

4)  You fail at the art of listening.  "What? Is that the sound of my own voice? If not, then I won’t bother to hear you!"  Assholes do not listen, they just talk and talk and talk (or type), never allowing for a dissenting voice or even another agreeing voice, because their voice is the only one that matters (See #3 above).

5)  You think only about yourself.  If someone is always worrying, thinking, talking, and planning things about themselves, they might indeed be an asshole.  Some people have such a huge love affair with themselves there is absolutely no chance in hell they could take even a second to worry about or care for someone else.

I suppose a person can be a mixture of both crazy and asshole.  I am sure the line where crazy ends and asshole ends is probably shaped more like a yin-yang; one is intertwined with the other, so that two different things make a sad kind of whole.  I guess it is not so important to identify the source of the crazy-asshole;  the true importance comes in knowing what to do about it.  It has always been my experience that crazy can not be reasoned with.  Crazy is by definition not logical nor safely dealt with by the casual interaction.  Crazy requires resources that can not be provided by a lay person; a doctor or therapist would be required to make a dent in crazy.

And so lays the solution.  Since crazy can not be confronted and assholes are deaf to the sound of another voice, the only option left is to retreat and cut off the person out of your life...similar to how a surgeon will cut of a limb riddled with gangrene in order to save the life of a person.  Sometimes the only option is to make a clean break from the crazy, wrap yourself in the knowledge that this is the last resort, and move on from that decision, secure in the knowledge that sometimes cauterizing a wound is the only way to start the healing process.